sitting in cr tonight, thinking about the life i have and the life i have left, wondering when i will love God. Why i don’t.
What happened to me and why my love is so fleeting… and i wonder… if i treated a gal this way, would she keep me? the back and forth, when will i fall in love, and say that HE is my only one. when i do will he then reveal to me MY love? not to get into some kind of contest with God, but He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. He loves to reward us, to glory in us when we are most satisfied in Him.
why do i hope for the end, when truly the love of my life is right in front of me, in every person i see and everything i do… can i not do better? love more? forgive more enemies and love the broken better? where is your heart young man, where is your love?
do you stand at the grand canyon and think how much you love yourself? Can you not be brought to awe from the Word of God, can he not speak into your life in every word you type and every script you write? where is your God, my son? where is your Father? have you forgotten?
i say Father, i am indeed broken. when is the revolution?
you call me to this cause, you break my spirit? you bring me to this broken state, you clothe me with this broken flesh craving every fleshy gal, and now, LORD, i need more of you. To keep me from gross sin, to save me from my fleshly cravings… if the problem is flesh, can the solution only be flesh? if indeed the problem is spiritual, what should i do? how do i change? can you make me a better soul, and move my heart to love you more? you indeed are God, you are good, today, i ask to fall in love with you. I want to crave time with you, i want to feel giddy, and know the bubbly toes feeling, i want my nose to crinkle in your presence, you make me feel special, i want to show it to you. you amaze me, and make me want to love you more, now you need to reveal to me HOW.
Show me how to love.